Reflections on Hospitality. Oana Toma of Hadar Chalet
In my childhood, being hospitable always meant being prepared to have guests. You see, there were no mobile phones and life was much slower back then, so at any time a neighbor, a salesman, or a friend could come by. This meant two things: having a clean house and always having coffee and rose petal jam on hand.
When I graduated from university, little did I know that Hospitality would become my career. After a tumultuous two years in which nothing was certain and everything I had planned turned to dust, here I was: reluctantly agreeing with my sister, Adriana, to turn a 14-room chalet in an off-the-grid forest in Romania into a hotel. The rest, as they say, is history.
The past 12 years saw Hadar Chalet transform from a rustic vacation home into one of the most beautiful boutique hotels in Romania, the premier destination wedding location of the country, and the recipient of many awards.
In the meantime, I slowly transitioned from a 23-year-old who had just moved from studying abroad to the 35-year-old woman and mother that I am today, in 2024. I had never really thought about how I’ve evolved alongside the business until Raluca, founder of this wonderful community, asked me this question. So, I sat down and reflected—REALLY reflected—on what had changed. I’ve realized that my perception of HOSPITALITY itself has shifted and changed throughout the decade of running a hotel and a hospitality business, perhaps in step with my maturing and finding my own ground in this domain.
In short—for this is a 12-year process I am about to unveil—being hospitable had about four different definitions for me over time. At first, because we were so new and knew almost nothing about the business, I was almost subservient—always thinking that the client knew better, that every wish had to be appeased, and any request for a discount granted. After a couple of years and a renovation, I had more trust in myself but was still attached to the people-pleasing element of the job—concentrating ceaselessly on giving 150% in any situation, going above and beyond what anyone would have ever expected to get the laurels and the great reviews.
By now I was almost 30 and also very, very tired. The 18-hour workdays and constant rumination on how to do better and be better got to me, and I just stopped. Stopped everything. Of course, we still had the business and the hotel and the staff was still there—but I was burnt out. Right about then, the angels smiled, and our wonderful employees, who had learned through the years what the Hadar style of hospitality was (as I had defined it), took over seamlessly and continued to do an amazing job as I pulled back and had a re-think of what needed to be done.
My perception of HOSPITALITY itself has shifted and changed throughout the decade of running a hotel and a hospitality business, perhaps in step with my maturing and finding my own ground in this domain.
Soon enough, the whirlwind of COVID and two pregnancies one after the other were even more motivating to find a way to make wonderful service part of our brand DNA but in a more authentic and sustainable way. For us, this meant more rules and operating procedures. It meant standardized offers and resources and fewer one-on-one calls and meetings. In many ways, it meant being more professional and turning away from extra work that just (really) did not need to be done. It also definitely meant delegating and building a true team, rather than having an owner and employees.
Have the reviews declined in quality? Do fewer people recommend us? Absolutely not. Our guests are just as happy, if not happier. But I had to do the internal work with both myself and the organization in order to have all of this done in a more balanced and fulfilling way.