Introducing inspiring Raluca, a virtual connection turned dear friend. Our paths crossed on the gram and from there, we bonded over meaningful conversations that sparked growth and purpose in each other.
And when she graciously invited me to share my story on her blog, what was supposed to be a simple interview turned into hours of virtual coffee chats and real connection.
Though we’ve only met in person once, I’ve had the opportunity of watching Raluca blossom from a timid girl to a self-assured woman, embodying the qualities we admire in the women of our community – a relentless drive to always be better, no matter the obstacles.
So, I invited Raluca to share a story with us all. It turned out to be an essay of self-love and womanhood.
Enjoy the read,
#womensupportingwomen is not just a simple hashtag
“There is a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.” is the message that Madeleine Albright has repeated so many times, including when showing her support for Hillary Clinton during her race for the US presidential election.
So many people have blamed Albright and have labeled her speech as an aggressive one, without passing through their own filter the weight of this message.
Few things I find more beautiful than a compliment paid by a woman to another woman, so when I admire a woman, I choose to tell her. And I feed myself with her reaction, a little bit shy here and there. The way the light floods her face and gaze is also ineffable.
But it wasn’t always like this. I have had my share of hatred and envy. For many years I haven’t had a good relationship with myself so I wasn’t able to observe and appreciate the beauty of other women. As the years went by, I have learned to love myself. And then, but only then, it hit me: Another woman’s beauty is not the absence of my own.
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SELF-LOVE PRACTICES
As my own journey of self-care, self-love, self-development has begun, I found my inspiration both in my internal resources and in other women’s universes.
But how did I get here and even most importantly how can YOU get here?
- TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF: I understood that I MUST apply the “oxygen mask analogy” in my everyday life. When you travel on an airplane, if there is an incident of low cabin pressure, the flight attendant will instruct you to put your own oxygen mask on yourself before you try and help others put their mask on. So, if I’m not taking care of myself, how can I help my family, my friends, my collaborators? This has been the most important lesson so far.
- BE TRULY HAPPY FOR YOUR FRIENDS: have you noticed how few female friends support you and your business regardless of their situation? People tend to be there for you only if you are not paid much more than them, if you are not more successful than them and your life is not better than their own. This is not support, this is not friendship. Be someone´s cheerleader. Root for other women when they’re at their best, then still support them to keep going.
- FIND WHAT INSPIRES YOU: and let that guide your life. It can be people, places, things, routines. Transform yourself into a beauty seeker. This should be one of your goals.
- MAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF: some activities will nourish your mind and soul and they will make you bloom inside out. Whether you enjoy yoga or love binging on streaming platforms or pampering is your middle name, please, please, find the time you need in order to do more of what makes you happy.
- KNOW YOURSELF: “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate” – James Clear, Atomic Habits. Who are you, who do you want to be, what will your legacy look like? These should be the questions you ask yourself daily. You can’t live an authentic life if you don’t know yourself enough. This is an ongoing process, it never ends, but it brings you closer and closer to your true self.
- FIND YOUR MUSE(S): you don’t need to be like someone else, but that doesn’t mean you can’t look up to a role model. I admire so many women in my real life or via the great Internet. And I gather small pieces and build my own puzzle. For instance, I follow on Instagram some women whom I admire for their sport routines. Their discipline helps me motivate myself sometimes. Or there are those women with an excellent aesthetic sense. Those feed my appetite for beautiful details.
- DEFINE YOUR OWN SUCCESS: like happiness, success can be defined in so many ways. Find your own definition! If successful equals CEO, be a CEO, if it means peace of mind and a creative job, do that. It’s your life, own it.
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We rise by lifting other women should be our daily mantra
I firmly believe that women can’t succeed without supporting each other, their wings will never fly high enough. It’s our duty to build a better world for the little girls who don’t trust themselves, who are told they are not good enough, not smart enough, not beautiful enough. But in order to obtain that, we must take care of ourselves, we need to be happy with ourselves first.
In my favorite book of all times, called Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor E. Frankl wrote: “Love is the only way to grasp another human being in the innermost core of his personality. No one can become fully aware of the very essence of another human being unless he loves him. By his love he is enabled to see the essential traits and features in the beloved person; and even more, he sees that which is potential in him, which is not yet actualized but ought to be actualized. Furthermore, by his love, the loving person enables the beloved person to actualize these potentialities. By making him aware of what he can be and of what he should become, he makes these potentialities come true.”
And I couldn’t agree more.
With love,
Raluca
Raluca Harabagiu has a thing for good stories, inspiring people, beautiful places & things. And she writes about them on ralucaharabagiu.com.
